Neurodivergence and Me

I’ve never understood why people can only meet you based on their past experiences. I used to believe that treating people well would make them reciprocate, but I realize now that my actions and feelings didn’t change how they felt about me. They never loved me in the way I wanted them to, or were considerate of my feelings. My words and actions didn’t matter to the people I wanted to see and feel me the way I thought they would. I wasted so much time and energy on people who couldn’t give me what I needed.

Back then, I didn’t know any other way to navigate the world, so I forgive myself for wanting and working to gain the love and support of people who couldn’t offer me more. I’ve made peace with it, but healing is a work in progress. Some relationships, like familial ones, are more difficult to reconcile. Growing up, I thought that if family didn’t support me, no one else would. That warped sense of reality delayed my progress for a long time.

Neurodivergence wasn’t studied or acknowledged during my primary years, but I’ve always been neurodivergent (mostly AuDHD, but also sensory processing and sensitivities). It was difficult growing up in a neurotypical family and world. I struggled without knowing why, except that I felt different from the people around me. A few people accepted me as I was, but it felt more like tolerance. I can’t blame them; they did the best they could with limited knowledge.

Neurodivergence is now recognized as a real thing, though many neurotypical people struggle to understand our unique thinking, feelings, and worldviews. I no longer care if they don’t comprehend; my understanding is sufficient. I’ve learned to manage my energy and prioritize my needs. I listen to my Body and rest when I need to, even when I feel restless. I honor my Heart’s messages and stop everything to address them. When my Mind gets stuck in loops, I breathe and release them to focus on my goals. I follow my Soul, my intuition and go left when she tells me to; ignoring her has always led to disappointment or worse.

I’m still learning and growing. I used to avoid confrontation, but now I have to calm myself down before speaking up. I’ve gone from being invisible to knowing my worth and refusing to dim my light. I once prayed to be different, but now I love and accept every quirky part of myself. I’m not the quiet person I used to be; I have to quiet my rage and focus on my goals.

Neurodivergent people are not broken; we need support and safe spaces with people who love us. We deserve to be accepted as we are. We can teach you new ways to experience the world and see things you may not have noticed. We are not better or less than neurotypical people. We are beautiful, wonderful, sentient, intelligent, and intuitive beings, and we deserve to thrive in this world.

Love, Peace & Acceptance,

~ SereneSassySoul ~